Bettina Clark, October 2012
Taking ownership of conscious and unconscious influences and consequences of our behavior – and to use expanded commitment and awareness to envision and act on a wider range of choices (McGonagill, 2002) is crucial – not only in our field of work. It is equally true for those we coach.
“Effective leaders don’t buy into or try to suppress their inner experiences. Instead they approach them in a mindful, values-driven, and productive way – developing what we call emotional agility.” (David & Congleton, 2013), explaining the integration of the acceptance-commitment-theory (ACT) as recognizing the patterns, labeling the thoughts and emotions, accept them and act on values.
In my personal mastery I am now building on a nurturing strength , which allows expansion in coaching for me: WARMTH and #compassion. “A growing body of research suggests that the way to influence—and to lead—is to begin with warmth. Warmth is the conduit of influence: It facilitates trust and the communication and absorption of ideas. Even a few small nonverbal signals—a nod, a smile, an open gesture—can show people that you’re pleased to be in their company and attentive to their concerns. Prioritizing warmth helps you connect immediately with those around you, demonstrating that you hear them, understand them, and can be trusted by them.” (Marcus Buckingham, 2013).
What I am learning as coach is #clarity. Clarity of what my coaching method consists of, what I am intending, and how I can use holding the intention throughout to enhance the coaching experience.
Amongst the practices that are further calling for attention are patience, assertive and rigorous #questioning, which are seen as scrupulously fair and dedicated to the highest standards, balanced with patience and flexibility (Flaherty, 2010). This is congruent with my EBW, in which it is suggested for me to learn to be firm with people, break bad news and make decisions that will upset people.
Not a comfortable place for me to be in ...